Tuesday, January 25, 2011

1/24/11 All Hell Breaks Loose! Its Royal Rumble Time!

Hello again all you fabulous people, its time for this week edition of the RAW report with your host. Well obviously you know who your host is or else you wouldn't be here... Anywho, here we go...

Edge def. Jack Swagger, Drew McIntyre, and Tyson Kidd in an over the top rope exhibition

Edge came out with bruised ribs from last weeks Nexus... err I mean former Nexus... err I mean Corre beatdown...oh who gives a crap... a bunch of guys destroyed Edge in the ring, and now hes wearing a bandage to prove it.

After trying to start his Champion v. Champion match NOW instead of later, the GM rings in, much to Edge's dismay (as you may remember before he left RAW most recently he destroyed the computer after it gave him so much grief) and assigned the exhibition with the prestigious Rumble Spot #40 on the line for the winner.

However, considering Edge defeated all of his opponents does that mean he enters at #40 now?

Mason Ryan officially keeps his FCW name, and apparently even botches promos like his "counterpart" Dave Batista. When handed the mic to say a "few words" Mason didn't wait for the crowd to die down, and Punk had to repeat what his "enforcer" just said.

Punk insulted The Corre, (which I apologize for last week's ignorance, apparently Corre isnt supposed to have an american meaning, it is apparently an old english word) and Barrett brought his group out confirming that Smackdown superstars were indeed on RAW tonight to promote the upcoming PPV.

The GM makes a match tonight, CM Punk v. Wade Barrett with John Cena as special referee, and which ever "captain" loses, their entire group is out of the rumble.

Alberto Del Rio & Sheamus def. Mark Henry & John Morrison via submission

Morrison and Sheamus continued their ongoing feud by fighting each other to the outside of the ring, while Del Rio managed to get Henry to tap out to his arm bar submission...

Natalya def. Melina for the Divas Championship via submission

The long awaited Divas Championship match is given to us tonight, and not at the PPV (or will it?) and Natalya basically has to break the flexible little minx Melina in half to get her to tap out to the Sharpshooter.

However, more Smackdown superstars make their presence known in the form of Lay-Cool coming out and basically explaining that after losing the championship at Survivor Series, Lay-Cool technically never had their rematch so at the Royal Rumble... it will be Natalya vs. one member of Lay-Cool. for the Divas Championship

Backstage, the New Nexus is seen talking without Punk regarding how Barrett's group is going solo and their strict job is to help Punk win... yet the gaps involved worry Harris thinking that they may not be brought out quick enough to prevent Punk from being eliminated... to which Punk replies that he had to sacrifice his own personal well being to defeat John Cena... but yet he did defeat John Cena.

Edge def. The Miz via disqualification

Great match, too many commercials, Ziggler, who acts professional up until the very end eventually grabs Edge's feet and pulls him into the ring corner causing the DQ...

Ziggler and Miz beat up on Edge until Randy Orton makes the save and goes after Miz while Edge goes after Ziggler. Chaos breaks out in the ring, and several RKOs lay out Ziggler and Riley, and a knee shot from the briefcase takes out Orton as Miz grabs his championship and bails.

Maryse, Ted DiBiase, and Alicia Fox def. Brie Bella, Nikki Bella, and Daniel Bryan via pinfall

Maryse breaks her own personal losing streak, and by default DiBiase's by picking up the victory by pinning one of the Bellas as the other distracted Bryan from breaking up the pin by kissing him. It seems Alicia has been given the Gail Kim treatment as I swear I never saw her even enter the ring before the match was over... Now IMO were the Bellas actually wrestling in swim suits or is that what you consider wrestling attire?

Speaking of Gail Kim, a backstage segment airs right after this match showing the Bellas upset with one another, and Michael Tarver once again hanging out backstage (whats his deal?) Now, TBH when they showed Daniel Bryan's dressing room and the coincedence that Tarver was present during the Teddy Long storyline last week, I half expected to find D Bryan face down (and suspect Tarver even more) but alas...The Bellas dont find Bryan unconcious, instead they find him kissing Gail Kim... and a brawl breaks out between the ladies as Bryan tries to restrain them.

Quite a hilarious comment is made to the internet trolls as Gail Kim stated she felt sorry for the Bellas as they haven't had much to do since the Guest Host thing ended... Bravo Kim, bravo!

Husky Harris & Michael McGullicuty def. Santino Marella & Vladimir Koslov via pinfall

Apparently this match is to decide if the New Nexus is qualified to challenge for the Tag Titles, and several distractions later, they pick up the victory...

Now this match was clearly put on as the penultimate as a way for the Nexus to pick up microphones right after and start hyping the main event and put over their leader CM Punk even more... which it seems is Otunga's only thing he is actually good at lately

Wade Barrett and CM Punk fought to a double disqualification

One of Cena's first acts as special ref for this match was removing the "bad guys" from ringside, to which without them even doing anything Cena throws the Nexus out from ringside... and the place goes crazy...

But he isn't done yet ... not by far... as even thought Barrett mentioned no further hostility against Cena and that he has actually come to respect him and hopes Cena respects him back, Cena removes the Corre from ringside as well...

Now before the match bell even rings, Cena proceeds to slap and torment both guys in an attempt to get one of them to hit him and get themselves disqualified. But instead the two men go at it, until Cena calls for the bell and explains to the time keeper that it the match will end in a Double DQ for excessive swearing on a PG show... (another nod to the internet trolls that said OMG CENA just said ASS a few weeks ago)

But the RAW GM announces that due to Cena's abuse of power, Both groups will be in the Rumble... and almost as if a gunshot is heard, both groups run down the ring to protect their leaders and turn their eyes toward Cena, who prepares to get outnumbered rather quickly... Until the locker room empties to the sound of the Big Show's theme and all hell breaks loose as Cole tries to hype the Rumble as much as he can before mid action the show ends.

I personally won't be ordering the PPV this weekend, as I will be working. >o< but I honestly can hope for several things to occur...

1. Triple H makes his return eliminating Sheamus re-igniting their feud from last year...
2. Amazing Kong makes her debut during the Divas match, or possibly the Rumble idk
3. Jericho has been rather talkative lately on the social networking sites saying "he wont be back in WWE for a while" so it might be shocking to see him return
4. Christian has been reported as being sidelined until post Wrestlemania, so my dream Edge v. Christian match is out the window.
5. John Morrison might win, to put forth my other dream Wrestlemania match... hopefully

I have expect all champions to retain their titles... unless the Divas championship ends in a screwjob due to a debuting Kong alligning herself with Lay-Cool

And with that, I wish you all a happy week, and Ill see you next monday!

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